Loco Poker

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Mark | Poker and Life, Poker Articles

This article belongs to the Poker and Life series

A game of loco poker might leave your brain in a coma:-)

This is the story of a Texas Hold’em variant known among my friends and I as Loco Poker.

Loco Poker was developed in Newcastle a few years ago when Artur and I took two weeks off to visit my brother and a friend of his who had set op base in Newcastle to live the gambler’s dream. Now I’m not sure who actually invented it. If you ask Artur and my brother they will claim to their death that it’s their child, but I  like to think that the idea was developed by all of us.

To better understand the essence of Loco Poker you need some understanding of the grave situation we faced every night  in Newcastle: How to get drunk fast, when all you want to do is go to bed after a hard days work at the virtual tables. Regular beer drinking games were getting boring, so we needed something new.

We first tried playing SNG’s where the first guy who got knocked out had to drink a shot/glass of beer and the winner decided who should drink another shot/glass of beer. However after the first couple of rounds we always ended up all in preflop on the first hand played so we thought we might as well adjust the game. No point in using chips when you are always all in-)

So here it is with no further ado,  the Loco Poker game:

Loco Poker Rules and Point System:

  • Hand rankings are the usual known from Texas Hold’em.
  • Player positions follow the dealer as usual.
  • There are three possible actions in Loco Poker: check, fold and all in.
  • If you go all in and everyone else folds, you receive one small Loco Poker Point.
  • If you go all in,  someone calls and you win after the showdown your opponent is knocked out. You do not receive any small Loco Poker points in this situation.
  • If you go all in, someone calls and you lose after the showdown you are knocked out regardless of the number of small Loco Poker points you have. Your opponent does not receive any Loco Poker points in this situation.
  • If the hand is checked to the river nobody wins any points.
  • The Loco Poker winner is the player who either knocks all the other players out, or wins 3 small Loco Poker Points. The winner decides who drinks.
  • The Loco Poker loser is the player who gets knocked out first. The loser automatically gets a penalty drink.
  • Most importantly, whenever a player receives a bad beat you have to remember to shout in unison: “THAT’S LOCO POKER!!!!!”

Loco Poker Hints:

  • If you are dealt any Ace, treat your hand as the nuts: push, push, push!
  • Trap with any pair.
  • Cheat your opponents if they don’t know Texas Hold’em hand ranks.
  • Make secret alliances; remember the goal of the game is to get your opponents as drunk as possible so you can take incriminating pictures of them.
  • Make up your own prizes and penalties for first and last place; play the game with your girlfriend and see where it takes you.


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